2020 What A Ride!

AS I type this, there is less than 24 hours remaining in 2020.  I have a feeling most of us will be sitting at the edge of our seats at midnight making sure the year actually ends, and fearful some strange anomaly will appear to hold us hostage in 2020.  I think we can all certainly agree it’s been a hell of a ride.

      

Was it a ferris wheel, a roller coaster or a cruise in Stephen Kind’s Christine?  Personally, I think it was more like a Tilt-A-Whirl.  Life had us spinning in circles while we were on upswings and down slides.  It is perfectly understandable if we are all dizzy and sick as we exit this ride.

         

2020 Vision I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who started this year hopeful that it would be the best year ever.  While I have started other years hoping for a good year, this year I really felt that I was stronger and more in control of my own life.  I was just starting to make progress on my mental health.  My goals and plans were achievable.  Visions of a year of progress had me feeling optimistic.

      

However, instead of a nice slow ride steadily growing closer to my goals, I was thrown into a demonic roller coaster with more dips and turns than my stomach and head could handle.  I was already feeling carsick by June and there were still six months left of the ride.

While most people can base their crazy year on Covid-19, I can’t say that was the only thing that hijacked my smooth ride through the year.  It certainly didn’t help matters at all.  My greatest obstacle  this year was my husband’s health.  

Beginning with a mini-stroke in May, medical issues seemed to pile up for him.  Eye surgery for a torn retina has him still almost blind in one eye.  His failing liver has created a couple other problems.  Being pretty crippled up myself has made it a real challenge to be able to help him as he struggles to recover.

 I turned a milestone age this year as well.  Fifty years old means living half a century.  Month by month, year by year, age doesn’t seem to mean much until you look at the big picture and realize that you have likely lived half your life already.  It makes you think about what kind of legacy you will be leaving behind.

      

Off and on, I’ve been a support person for people who needed someone to be there.   Whether they were family, friend, acquaintance or stranger, I was glad to be a listening ear, and offer virtual hugs.  (Virtual because Coronavirus you know!)  I sure miss physical hugs.

      

But, 2020 hasn’t been a complete ride through a war zone.  I haven’t had to ride alone either.   My best friend in the world, Kristie, has been there through thick and thin.  Whether I just needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to give me hope for a better tomorrow, she’s been there in a heartbeat. She’s been a huge inspiration.

      

I’ve grown closer to a friend I met online through Kristie.  Katie has become like a sister to me and has been a spiritual inspiration.  She has made my life better just being a part of it.

   

When Dan’s health issues became too much for me to handle alone, his family stepped in to give me the help and  support I needed.  I’m not sure where I would be now without my sister-in-law.   (Likely in the loony bin!)  Other members have been there as well, to offer support and hope when I was feeling overwhelmed.

   

Probably one of the greatest achievements of this year for me was finally getting a hobby room for myself.  It meant dismantling my library and finding a new home for about 1000 books, but in hindsight it was completely worth it.  My hobby room is my personal sanctuary, where I can read, write, rest, nap or do some kind of artwork.

   

As far as art goes, I’ve had more opportunity to spend time painting, which has become an obsession since I first picked up a paintbrush a few short years ago.  Considering how little I knew about painting, or even art in general, I’m proud of where I am now.  I couldn’t have done it without having the room to work on it. 

   

Now, the year is coming to a close. Will 2021 bring a chance to rest and recover? Or will it sweep me off my feet and carry me away?  I have no way of knowing.  One thing I do know is that I will NOT  say this coming year will be MY year.  I made that mistake last year on this date.  It’s been a hell of a ride, but I’m ready to sit the next one out.