He Was Eleven Years Old. They Called Him DJ

Dracen John Lee Brabant was an eleven year old boy who had a future ahead of him. But, he breathes no more because he felt that he couldn’t deal with the pressures of life as he knew it. He was a victim of bullying.

Dracen, or DJ as he was affectionately called, had a family who loved him dearly. He was an active boy who loved sports, hunting, and fishing. DJ was very active in wrestling and football.

He was eleven years old. How much life was ahead of him yet? In his eleven years, how little had he experienced up to this point?

Those who have never been bullied can’t understand the frustrations of a victim of bullying. It feels like there is no way out. It’s an empty despair with no exit. It’s hard enough to face as an adult. For a child, it feels impossible.

DJ’s story hits me hard because it’s local to me. It touched people that I know. His loss affected our entire community. He was eleven.

It touched me personally because I know what it’s like to be the outcast. As a child, I was different. My friends were few in number. Those who enjoyed making fun of me or talking behind my back were many. I know how he felt. It feels like one against the world.

I haven’t reached out to the family to ask for details as I write this because I know they need time and space to deal with their emotions. When they are ready, perhaps we will know more about what has taken place to push him over the edge.

What I know is that he was eleven years old when he felt so desolate that he attempted to hang himself. And the damage to his body was too much to survive.

A community is in mourning. Facebook profile photos are changed to photos of DJ and the hashtag #djstrong splashes across them. Other hashtags that are being used are #standagainstbullying and #justice4dracen. Hundreds of people showed up in support to a candlelight vigil in his honor.

But, he was eleven. It should never have happened. The bullies, whoever they are, stole his life. They stole his future. They robbed his family and friends of memories they could have made together.

When things like this happen everyone wants to start pointing fingers. Who did this? What caused this to happen? Who can we blame?

We ask the usual questions: What could we have done differently? What signs did we miss? How could we have prevented this?

Maybe as a society, we need to ask, what can I do to help? I know I preach this constantly, but it is still so true: kindness and compassion for each other is the answer.

Children learn what they see and what they live. If they see adults in their life teasing, taunting and bullying other people, or even laughing when others do it, it gives them the idea it’s acceptable behavior. If you sit at your kitchen table and make fun of the neighbor’s pink hair, your child will taunt their daughter for her mother having pink hair.

However, bullying isn’t new. It’s been around forever. With the internet and social media, there are just many more avenues for the bullies to get to the victims.

I don’t like the term “social justice warrior.” There’s a certain sense of arrogance to it. But in a way, we are all called to be warriors of social justice in cases just as this.

If you see someone being picked on, give them your hand or your heart. Stand up to the bully with them. You never know – you may have just met your best friend for life in that moment.

Be the kindness you want to see in the world. Compassion for others costs nothing and can be freely given.

 

 

 

He was eleven.

 

 

 

 

Here is his obituary: Dracen Brabant