Happy Father’s Day In Heaven, Dad

Father’s Day hits hard when your father isn’t here anymore. Thirty-five years ago was the last Father’s Day I got to share with my father in this life. Every year since then I feel a distinct emptiness inside of me on this holiday.  It doesn’t feel right without him here.

There are plenty of other fathers in my life that I wish Happy Father’s Day to. My husband, his sons, my brother and brother-in-law, dear friends – all deserve to hear “Happy Father’s Day.” I do offer them well wishes and a prayer for a joyful day celebrating all that they do for their families.

But, in my world my father was special. And I lost him when I was so young and innocent. Today reminders of him flood my thoughts and I remember the good times.

My father had a contagious laugh that rose up from his belly. If he was laughing, so was everyone around him. He was the life of the party when he wanted to be. He was also a quiet man with a gentle voice until he was angry.

My dad wasn’t perfect, but in my childlike innocence, I believed he was. He was the one I looked up to. His word was like gold to me. I look back now and remember some of the things he said and I wish I had listened more.

I wish I had done more for him. You always expect your father to be there forever, or at least until you are old enough to figure out how to be an adult. At nineteen, I was still a kid.

It’s been 35 years since he’s gone, and sometimes it still feels as fresh as if it was just last year.

Happy Father’s Day Dad. I miss you so much.