When “Help me!” Is Silent

Sometimes you never hear the “help me” from people who need it. It doesn’t come out in words, but rather in appearance and demeanor …

You don’t recognize her. You know her, but she doesn’t look like the woman you remember. Her clothes are ill-fitting and faded. She never would have left the house looking like that before.

There are worry lines in her face that weren’t there before. She used to walk with her head held high, facing forward. Now, she stumbles along slumped forward, barely seeing anyone around her.

She looks tired. Perhaps war-torn would better describe her current appearance.

It’s been a few years since you’ve seen each other. You said you’d stay in touch after she quit working at the same place you did. But, somehow, you just never did. Life was too busy.

“What a shame” you think to yourself. She always seemed so strong, lively, and sure of herself.

She hasn’t seen you yet. You can still turn away before she does. What could you say? Surely she knows she hasn’t changed for the better. Would it be embarrassing for us both?

Uh oh. Too late. She saw you. But, she just half-smiles and mumbles “hi” and goes past you. You nod, but don’t engage.

You never know that she was hoping you would stop walking and ask how she’s been. She would lie and say everything’s OK, but she would cherish those few moments of interaction with a past she remembered fondly.

You didn’t hear the silent “help me” screaming from her appearance. Few people do until they wear the same faded clothes and slumped shoulders.

Nobody chooses to fall into disrepair. Circumstances in life make it happen. And, many never find their way out without help.

But, it takes a special person to be that help.  These special people are few and far between.

It takes someone willing to meet them where they are without expecting much from them. They don’t have a lot of social energy. Sometimes the very thought of being social is enough to shut them down.

Meeting them where they are means overlooking the unbrushed hair or the tattered shoes. It means accepting them as they are because that’s all they have today.

What a world this would be if we all could meet people where they are. If we could refrain from placing our own expectations on the lives of others.

Some day we may find ourselves the ones with no social energy, silently screaming “help me” with our tattered appearance. How much it would mean then for a friend to take our hand and say, “Come! Let’s go chat over a cup of coffee.”