‘Tis The Season To Be Unhappy?

The holiday season is supposed to be joyful and merry. Friends and family gather at large dinners and exchange cards, gifts and other expressions of love. Holiday songs fill the air. Parades stroll down Main Street. Calendar blocks contain craft fairs, work parties, and school programs. For some, it’s the only time they connect with loved ones. What could go wrong?

Unfortunately, this pretty picture isn’t universal. For some people, the season between Halloween and the end of January is the longest, saddest part of their year. There are various reasons for this.

Various Reason For Sadness

Anyone who has lost someone during the holiday season may always feel sorrow at this time of year. My father died in the middle of December in 1989. For many years after, the holiday season was not a joyful time for me. The emptiness filled my heart. He should have been with me. Why was he gone? I felt alone.

Toxic family members may be another reason for someone to feel less than merry during the holiday season. We feel obligated to attend family gatherings. There are some people we want to be around. But, what about creepy Uncle Frank who kisses on the lips and his hands wander too far during a hug? Doesn’t anyone else notice? How do you avoid him? Or Aunt Emily whose haughty behavior makes everyone ill at ease? Maybe brother Ed drinks too much and makes uncomfortable remarks.

Financial worries are a common reason to dislike the holiday season. Unfortunately, as a society, we have turned the season into a commercial spending spree justified as acts of love. We all want to give generously to loved ones this time of year. Gifts are an expression of our love. However, when money is scarce or non-existent, it’s impossible to buy the gifts we would love to share. Alternatively, we go into debt to buy presents. Financial worries cause many sleepless nights.

Hectic schedules, sleepless nights, too many interactions with strangers, extra cooking and baking – the list of things which can cause stress might go on and on. The question is, how do we deal with them?

How Do We Cope?

Skip a holiday party that may cause emotional stress. Buy or make reasonably priced gifts for those you love. Make time to acknowledge the ones who have passed. Reach out to others who may also be struggling. But most of all, take care of yourself and your well-being. Your obligation is to yourself first.