I live in a very conservative-leaning town. Some days it feels like we are still living in the ’50s. In some ways, this can be refreshing and pleasant. But in other ways, it is frustrating beyond belief. Unfortunately, judging others has no time limit, and it is still a favorite pastime here.
The world has progressed past 1950. Gone away are the days of Ward and June Cleaver. The wives don’t stay home to keep house and raise children because it’s financially impossible. Children spend more time looking at electronic screens than they do moving their muscles physically. Hunting and fishing have become lost sports. There is no time for the parents and no interest from the children.
Everyone Knows Your Name
In this little town, everyone knows your name. Today’s teachers are working beside the instructors they had. For decades, the same family names have been in the news. Without knowing the surnames, some children are immediately recognizable by facial features.
These sound homey and happy. Rather than being weaknesses, they are the strengths of a small town. The family-like atmosphere keeps everyone watching out for each other. When tragedy strikes we all come together.
However, there is a disadvantage. Judging others based on their family is a real thing. Susan Jones is not known for being Susan but rather for being “a Jones girl.” In a small town, each family has a profile. It’s not something written in stone. But, it is their profile just the same.
There are four girls in the Smith family. Ranging in age from 10 to 17, the girls have individual personalities. However, the oldest one is less disciplined than the rest. She has a wild streak known throughout the area. Teachers question her first when there’s an incident in the girls’ room at school.
Judging the other girls for the oldest daughter’s behavior isn’t right. But, it is done quite often in little towns and villages all over. Because Sally Smith is wild, her sisters must be as well. The youngest, Sarah, doesn’t stand a chance at being judged for herself.
Judging Doesn’t Stop With Children
The judging doesn’t stop with children either. These judgments follow into adulthood. Recently a man was judged for dating while he was in the middle of a divorce. In a staunchly Catholic area, this is a sin. Because he came from an extremely devout Catholic family, he should be without sin. The man is well past his teen years and old enough to decide his life for himself.
Family feuds are another facet of this same gem. They aren’t just fiction like Romeo and Juliet. They exist. If one person in the family is quarreling with another family, everyone else must follow suit. The two families must then be at war. There is no standing on a fence line.
Many times these feuds are created during marital separations or divorce. The wife’s family feels she has been wronged and hates the ex-husband and his siblings too. Or vice versa. With closed eyes and earplugs they go through their day refusing to believe anything good may come from “that family’.
Life Is Hard Enough
It’s hard enough for a person to get through life based on their own merits. Self-judgment is a handicap of its own. But, being judged for our surname adds more hurdles to jump.
I hope our world is growing more compassionate. I want to believe my actions speak for me and not my name. However, I’m afraid that isn’t always the case.
Our words and actions should be the basis for any judgment, not our surname. Don’t you agree?
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