Self Respect, Dignity and Poverty

There seems to be a lot of people in poverty these days. Paychecks aren’t going as far as they used to even with two adults working in a household. Through no fault of their own, competent, stable people are losing jobs, vehicles, homes — all the security they had known previously. What they had once thought of as hard times takes on a new vision of luxury compared to the current situation.

Even the best of us can lose confidence and self-worth when we are facing these circumstances. It’s hard not to fall into a deep depression and give up on life. Once down, it feels like an extreme journey to return to stability.

Insufficient Resources

In our society, there aren’t enough resources for those who fall into these hard times. There are those who fall just over the help line and do not qualify for the little bit of assistance that would keep them afloat. And there are some who just need more help than is available.

Some people don’t try to help themselves. They want to float along and let others pay their way through life. Then there are the ones who do everything they possibly can think of to carry on with their responsibilities on their own and still fall short.

Thankfully, the world also contains kind souls who are willing to offer help and support to those who are struggling. Without judging, they offer food, rides, clothing and more to those who just need a little helping hand.

Nobody Wants To Need Help

Nobody asks to be in a situation of want or thinks, “I want to grow up to be homeless and penniless.” Sadly, some people grow into it from a childhood of poverty. It goes without saying that children with parents who can help and support them financially have a better start in life. They can focus their attention on education instead of trying to help the family find food or pay bills.

Children of parents who are struggling often enter the employment field as early as possible and some, if not all, of their paychecks go toward household expenses. They don’t have as much time to focus on education and future plans.

When one falls into poverty, the first thing to go is personal pride. You can’t be proud when you have to ask others for help and support. It’s hard to look someone in the eye and ask, “Do you have $10 for gas I can have?” Even worse is the embarrassment when the request is denied.

There’s a stigma attached to being in poverty. Today’s society looks down on anyone who isn’t living a financially stable life. It’s assumed that nobody should be living paycheck to paycheck, or worse. Yet, the economy does not allow for the majority of people to live with stable finances.

Internet  Is A Blessing And A Curse

With the widespread reach of the internet, it’s much easier to ask for help, but it has also opened the door for more abuse of the needy. Local communities have online “Pay it forward” groups or buy/sell/trade pages where it can be possible to get needed items at a free or reduced cost. Crowdfunding pages spring up everywhere, pages where people hope to spread the cost out to others who might be willing to donate a little toward the common goal.

Unfortunately, those in need often are hesitant to post in these helpful groups for fear of the ridicule and bullying they know happens on those pages. Hurtful words like “pathetic” and “lazy” are tossed around like a rubber ball, without any clue to the poster’s personal circumstances.

Not All Are Honest

To make matters worse, there are those who exploit the kindness of those who are trying to help folks who could use a hand up. These people join free sites begging for items they claim to need, some of these being high dollar items like televisions or appliances. Generous donors might go out of their way, including donating their own money, to try to accommodate the one asking, who then turns around and sells the item for cash. Meanwhile, someone who truly does need these items goes without.

Thankfully, this doesn’t stop generous people from continuing to help others without judgment. Their attitude is that they know in their hearts they are doing the right thing. The sins of the others are not on their conscience.

This is good because resources for those in need are scant and insufficient. Food pantries empty as fast as the donations come in. And food isn’t the only need that those living in poverty may be short on. Many times sundries and personal needs are overlooked, although their need is just as dire. Government assistance doesn’t cover shampoo and bathroom tissue.

Spiraling Downward Seems Inevitable

It seems that once poverty hits, the spiral continues downward. Donated clothing seldom looks crisp and smart. Companies looking to hire often judge applicants based on appearances as much as they do ability. The well-dressed woman is more likely to be hired than the one who shows up in clean sweat pants and ill-fitting dress shirt. That old saying “it takes money to make money” still is true today.

It can be a lonely life for those who are not financially stable. Often people feel uncomfortable around those who appear to them to be in need. Perhaps they feel ashamed to be seen talking to someone they consider beneath them. Or, they are afraid they will be asked to help in ways they are not able or unwilling to do. Sometimes it might be a matter of trying to avoid unwelcome attachment or misunderstood intentions.

One of the most appreciated gifts we can give to those who are not on good financial ground is respect. They need a sense of brotherhood, of belonging, instead of feeling singled out in a cruel world. More than money, they need to know someone cares.

How We Can Help

Every community has its share of those who could use a hand up. If you don’t know who some of these are in your own hometown, you are one of those walking with your nose in the sky. Watch for the ones who count out their change for a tank of gas at the station. Look for those with the loud exhaust for months because they can’t afford to have it fixed. Notice the single woman with a car full of laundry baskets.

For most of us, these sights tug at our heartstrings, even if we are not in a position to lend a financial hand. But, there are some things we can do that cost $20 or less. It costs nothing to be a friend. Flash a genuine smile to the man counting his change. Offer to take the loud exhaust owner to lunch one day. Fold clothes with the woman doing laundry, or offer to pay for a dryer load of clothes for her.

Perhaps you know of some of these families personally. That might give you a better insight to what would bring them hope. Instead of dropping off a case of ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese or hot dogs, things that they likely buy for themselves, drop off the makings of a nice meal for a night. Maybe “clean your freezer” and ask if they would mind taking your extras. Offer a night of free babysitting for the single mother to go out and enjoy a movie by herself.

Anyone Can Help

There are many ways we can show a little bit of kindness to these folks who want to hold onto some sense of dignity and worth. Life is hard enough for them just trying to survive. It can be almost impossible when they have to fight through the ugliness and mean spirited people.

We can change the world by changing our corner of the world. What are you willing to do?