Angels Say “You Matter”

Happy Thanksgiving all! It’s early morning on Thanksgiving Day. My husband is sleeping peacefully in bed, but I’m a natural day sleeper. I find it hard to sleep when it’s dark outside.  It doesn’t matter.  I can work at night when it’s quiet.  Tonight I’m doing a bit of the early preparation for our dinner – and singing Christmas songs.

Usually, I don’t listen to Christmas songs until a week past Thanksgiving. In fact, it often annoys me that they start playing them so early so you are tired of them by Christmas. But, tonight, I’ve been humming along, sometimes singing, with the Christmas songs playing on a local radio station that has begun playing 24/7 Christmas songs.

There’s something uplifting about singing Christmas songs and this year I’ve needed a bit of a spirit boost. You can’t feel down and want to frown when you are belting out “Jingle Bell Rock”.

Life has thrown me some real curveballs this year and I’ve been struggling hard with my mental health. It seems just as soon as I think I have a handle on things, the rug gets pulled out from beneath me again. My life has been anything but stable. I reached a point where I couldn’t find the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Somebody extinguished it somehow. Last week I had just plain had enough and was ready to give up on trying anymore.

Enter the angels. I call them angels because I am certain they were sent from Heaven to bring me hope. It seems God is giving me a little bit of breathing space to recover before sending me back out into the battlefield.

Saturday morning I was resting quietly when the dogs suddenly started to go crazy. Dan heard someone at the door and there was a woman, a stranger to both of us, asking for me. When I met her in the kitchen, she had bags in both hands and a card. She said she had a few things for me, and a hug. And she held me. She gave me a long, strong, healing hug that soothed my tired soul.

In the bags were household necessities that we had been struggling hard to keep in the house as well as a few things for personal care. And the greeting card contained a bit of financial help and a little card that meant so much. It said simply, “You matter”.

To say I had a dry eye would be to lie. I burst into tears and I was still crying 10 minutes later when I heard the dogs barking again. I looked up to see the mail lady drop a package off in front of the door. Stupified (because I knew we hadn’t ordered anything) I went to the door. There was a box that said Amazon on it addressed to me with no sender’s name.

I brought the box inside and set it on the table. Dan watched as I opened it to discover canvas boards and acrylic paints. Someone, another angel, had anonymously sent me art supplies. I never had a chance to stop crying at the generosity of folks. Strangers.

Monday I received another box in the mail. This time it contained paintbrushes. Again, there was no sender’s name. I called my best friend Kristie to fill her in and tell her how bad I felt that I had no way of thanking this anonymous person. I told her I was beyond happy with these thoughtful gifts, but I didn’t know why we were suddenly being blessed.

In typical form, I didn’t feel I deserved or was worthy of gifts. I hadn’t done anything to earn them. So, I had no business receiving these things. Kristie, also in typical form, proceeded to explain to me that she felt someone was rewarding us for being kind, generous souls. She said that Dan and I are always willing to do what we can for others, to help make others’ lives happier and easier. Just as that little card said – “You matter”

I couldn’t argue with her, because it is true that Dan and I do take pleasure in helping others when we can. But, we are just doing what anyone else would do. If we have extra, we don’t mind sharing. If we can do something to bring a smile to someone else, we will do it. But, I still don’t think we should be rewarded for it. It’s what humans should do for each other.

Tuesday there was yet another surprise for us. Tears flowed freely when my brother-in-law knocked on the door and said he brought something for us. He didn’t have anything in his hand, so I questioned him. He said Dan would need to come outside. So I called Dan to the kitchen and sent him out.

We have a wood pellet stove in the main room which provides heat through the majority of the house. Because of our financial straights, we have had a struggle to be able to keep pellets in the house. My brother-in-law claims he was not responsible for the pallet of wood pellets that he delivered to us. He knows the sender but he was not at liberty to say.

Yes, I cried. I cried big tears and long ones. These should last us through the month of January. Again, I talked to Kristie. By now I was pretty certain Kristie had an idea what all of this was about. But, UNLIKE Kristie, she wouldn’t tell me anything. All she said is that we need to accept these things because we are deserving, no matter what we may actually believe ourselves. And that there may be a few more angels heading our way.

I have a hard time accepting help from others, or asking for it. It’s part of the residual effects of my childhood. Also, I have always been the provider, the supporter. Being a recipient is a foreign feeling to me.

But, I will admit that there is a light at the end of the tunnel again for me. Having sufficient supplies I picked up the paintbrushes again and started a couple of new paintings. I feel like I can breathe again.

“You matter”. Two words that, when put together and shared with someone else, are powerful. They say that you are important to me, to the community, to the world.

And so, I say to all of you, “you matter”. Read those words and believe that they apply to you. Let them bring you hope and know that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can’t see it right now. For all of you who can’t see the light, just as I couldn’t, I pray that God sends YOU angels too, who can light that lamp for you.

YOU MATTER.

Happy Thanksgiving!