“White tunic or black dress pants?” “Drive or fly on vacation?” “Chocolate or vanilla?” “Yes or no?” Some decisions in life are easy to make. Others take some serious consideration. However, every decision comes with consequences and repercussions.
When we are young, we seldom think about the consequences of our actions. Common sense is a rare commodity. The youth have no fear of injury or death, or much else for that matter. Spontaneity and fun are the order of the day.
It’s not until we begin to pay the consequences of those decisions that we start to realize how much we should have paid more attention to the things we said and did. From the standpoint of good health, we may not realize the careless broken bones of youth can become the painful arthritis of our golden years. Our financial decisions in our twenties can affect our lives in our forties and fifties.
What About Emotional Consequences?
When people think about making decisions and their consequences, these are among the decisions that quickly come to mind. Seldom do they consider the decisions that affect emotional health and well being, both at that time and into the future.
The people we give our time and energy to have a lasting effect on our lives. The love and care we put into our relationships is our investment. Cheap investment leads to shallow friendships.
Few of our relationships last from childhood into our golden years. People come and go in our lives. Nobody is required to remain a part of anyone’s life. How we treat others has much to do with who stays and who doesn’t.
Who Thinks About Old Age?
Planning for old age is unpleasant. Nobody likes to think there will come a time when their body gives out, their mind may not be as sharp and life belongs to those who still have their youth. Yet, there comes a point when we start to put money aside for our later years, and exchange potato chips for salads.
But, when do we start to take stock of how we treat the people in our lives? As we grow older, people are less likely to write off bad behavior as “growing pains” or “the stupidity of youth”. If we aren’t fertilizing our relationships with love and care throughout our lives, we will lose them. Sooner or later, friends will leave.
It takes work to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone. We can’t just send a Christmas card once a year and expect to be treated as a best friend. The challenges of life can interfere with even the best relationship. Yet, with a little effort, nothing is lost.
Communication Is Important
In today’s world, it’s easy to stay in touch. Letters and postcards may be a thing of the past, but with email and social networking, we can communicate in no time at all. My best friend and I have had “sticker” conversations through a social messenger when things have been hectic for us. I send a sticker that says “thinking of you” and she replies with “love ya”. It’s enough to know we care about each other.
But, frequent communication isn’t a magic guarantee. People don’t want to be used, or manipulated or taken for granted. Whether it’s family or friend, people want to be treated at least as an equal. One-sided relationships will not last. After a while, everyone gets tired of being used.
It’s sad to see an older man or woman spend their final years lonely and alone. It may be that they simply didn’t have many people in their life to begin with, and death already took some of them. But, there are those who are alone because they didn’t know how to nourish the relationships they had. These are the saddest of all.
The Rest Of The Story
We see a meme about the old man wondering why his son hasn’t called. Immediately, we feel pity for the old man and anger at the son. But, if we found out the father was physically abusive to the son all his life, and never repented and asked his son for forgiveness for his actions, would we still feel the same way? Old age isn’t an automatic “get out of jail free” card.
How about the woman who pushed her children away most of her life in favor of a career, or a new husband, or material things? Should we feel sorry for her when her children are not there at the end of her life and she feels sorrow and regret?
When people feel loved, they can’t help but gravitate toward the person who loves them. Likewise, if they don’t feel appreciated, they will start to distance themselves until they finally walk away completely.
The time and effort we put into our relationships throughout our lives will determine who we can expect to follow us into our golden years. If a man lives his entire life as a hermit, he can’t expect to find a town full of friendly people when he is aged and lonely.
It’s Never Too Late To Make Changes
If you recognize loneliness in your own life, there is good news. You don’t have to remain lonely. There are people out there looking for friends. Volunteer in your community. Join a church group. See what the local library has going on. If you are older, join a senior center in the area.
It’s never too late to start over no matter how old you are. You may not get back the people in your life that you have lost, but there is always time to add new people into your life. Learn from past mistakes and cherish the new friends. Make cookies together. Go for walks. Spend time sharing stories from your youth.
Your life is a product of your decisions. The only person responsible for your life is you. How will you live it?
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