Dear Diary: You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Dear Diary: It’s June 3 in what was supposed to be MY year. I started out 2020 on a positive note, thinking I was going to make serious changes to my life this year. Things were going to start working out for me and I was going to get a handle on my health issues. Instead, the reality is something you can’t even make up in a fantasy novel. You gotta be kidding me!

In January, the world broke out with Covid-19. At first, it seemed like it was going to be like all those other huge pandemics that dwindled down and faded out. It would start out with a huge hurrah, then mysteriously disappear when a new story hit the news. I was kidding myself to think that.

Covid-19 Not Going Away

By March, it was apparent that it was here to stay. Lives were shutting down along with churches, schools, and stores. People were putting themselves in self-quarantine when they were well, just to avoid any chance of contracting the dreaded malaise.

Since my life is rather dull and boring, I didn’t think it would affect me too seriously. Yes, the clinic had to pause my therapy visits. I sent her messages to check in and let her know how I was doing. We had a phone visit just for her to be sure I was truly as well as I told her I was. (Are you kidding? Would I lie about that? I’m going for a reason!)

Yes, my appointment with my personal doctor was a phone visit since it was just a checkup. I had no complaints, and little had changed. If I had any problems, I could update him online as well. Neither Dan nor I did much traveling anyway since gas money is somewhat of a luxury for us. So, staying home wasn’t going to change our routine very much.

I’m A Bit Independent

However, I hadn’t counted on my independent personality taking offense to the idea I couldn’t do something. It’s one thing if I choose to remain home, but I found myself restless and irritated at the thought of someone else telling me I had no choice in the matter. Before this, Dan had to beg me to leave the house. After it was strongly suggested that one only make necessary trips away from home, it seemed like all I wanted to do was take off and go – anywhere!

As the days warmed up and I was certain Spring was here, I began to spend as much time as I could outside, soaking up the sunshine and fresh air. I still had cabin fever, but it wasn’t a strong as it had been. Time in the sun is so healing for me and I welcome the rays on my skin.

I hadn’t seen my best friend, Kristie, since the fall. We risked a trip to visit her, spending only a few moments and that was at a distance. Healing hugs? Are you kidding me? Not a chance. I can’t risk her health, but it was beyond difficult not to pull her into my arms and hold her tightly.

Memorable Memorial Day

Then came Memorial Day. Almost everything in Wisconsin is still shut down or open only with massive restrictions. Celebrations were out of the question, but we did put flowers on my father’s grave just as we have done every year.

And then that night, Dan woke me up to take him into the Emergency Room. He was having a stroke. Thankfully it was a small stroke with minimal noticeable changes to him. He caught it early. (Or should I say, the dog caught it early. Cookie woke him up when it began.) I wasn’t prepared to have to wait outside in my vehicle while they took him back to be checked out.  Due to Covid-19 restrictions, those were the new rules.

Finally, two and a half hours after I brought him in, they called me and said I could go to his room with him. They explained what had happened, and told us what the followup actions would be. And they kept him.

Home Alone

Neither of us liked the idea of him not coming home with me, but they wanted to observe him for a while yet. So, I went home alone, took care of the dogs, made important phone calls, and tried to catch a couple hours of sleep. I did manage to get about an hour and a half of shuteye. At 4:00 they let him go and I could take him home.

But, I could see the effects. Some of the effects are from his three new medications, but some of them are the residual effects of having a stroke. His speech is sometimes in slow motion, like he has to think about each word before it comes out. His reflexes aren’t as fast as they used to be.

It was a wake-up call for us both. Nobody lives forever. We both need to start taking our health much more seriously. It could just as easily have been me with the stroke.

And Then The Icing On The Cake…

And now, as if we needed anything else this year, the world is burning. Protests calling for justice have turned into riots. Curfews have been a necessity in some cities. Looters have done irreparable damage to some shops.

And so, dear Diary, all I can say about 2020 so far is this: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!