A Personal Apology To My Faithful Readers

Dear readers, I feel bad. When I began this blog in 2017 with the help of my friend, Wes, it had a dual purpose. First and most importantly, it was a type of therapy for my emotional and mental health. Secondly, it was my voice to the world to share my views on life and living it. At the time, I set a goal for myself to publish two posts a week regularly. It took a lot of effort and hard work and sleepless nights to achieve that goal, but I was proud to say I did it.

I had always been a writer, but I wrote for myself. It was too scary to share my writings with the world. Who could I trust to be readers?  There was a fear of ridicule and failure. Poor self-esteem was a character trait for too many years, beginning when I was a young girl. School children can be so cruel to each other, and I was always an outsider.   But, in 2017 I decided to share my words with the world. I didn’t write each post with particular readers in mind. Rather, I wrote about things in my life, or things I had seen, or experienced. It was a giant leap of faith for me to trust the whole world wasn’t going to make fun of me, accuse me, or blame me for my personal thoughts, beliefs, and observations.

Fast forward to this year, 2020. So much in my life has changed. My living circumstances are drastically different. The world around me is far from the same. And the state of my health is not better. Neither is my husband’s.   Time constraints and heavy pain days have limited my posts to whenever I have a post finished and the energy and time to set it up for publishing. I used to be able to sit down for a couple of hours and write up 3 or 4 posts, then prepare them to be published throughout my free moments during the week. I liked to have posts scheduled to publish a couple of weeks ahead of time, in case I had a bad week or two when I couldn’t publish.

But, as time went on, it was harder to post two times a week, so I reduced it to once a week. Instead of having posts scheduled ahead of time, I had fallen behind to the point where I was typing it up and publishing it the same week. I couldn’t keep up the pace I had set for myself.

Perhaps that was a sign that my mental health was declining as much as my physical health. Writing had always come easy for me and I could pop out a decent post in half an hour once there was a topic to work on. But, I had come to a point when I couldn’t write a full post in two hours.

In 2019, I couldn’t keep the site going financially. With a heavy heart, I had to let it go. Even though it had been a struggle to write the posts sometimes, I still enjoyed doing it and got some mental relief when I did. However, all was not lost. Wes, again, came to my rescue, and I was up and running again. To say I was grateful would be a complete understatement.

But, circumstances in my life had changed too. My sister moved in with me after leaving an unpleasant marriage. My husband’s health suffered a few setbacks. And I was fighting not only my arthritic ankles but also frequent migraines. I wasn’t able to keep a regular posting schedule. I did try to keep posting though.

Which brings me to today. Dear readers, it’s been about a month since my last post (that almost sounds like Confession .. “it has been so many days since my last Confession …”). We’ve had some complicated issues with my husband’s health. He has been in and out of the hospital multiple times since May. We’ve both been pushing through our pain to keep the household running. There hasn’t been time to write, and when there is time, I need it for sleep.

I really hope to change that. It is my hope to put out one post a week again, despite the hectic life here. I’ve missed the routine part of keeping the posting schedule and I need to get that back.  I hope my faithful readers have missed me too.   Please be patient with me, especially if things are rather erratic for a while.  We’ve changed the editor I use, and it’s taking me time to figure it out.  I can’t just copy and paste my work into the editing box.  Each paragraph has to have its own box.   If you have tips, suggestions or ideas to help me out, I’m more than happy to listen!  Email me.

And, as a final note, you may notice that there are now ads on the blog. Since it is the only price that I am paying for the ability to keep this blog going, I am more than happy to pay the price. I hope you can be understanding.

Look forward to my next post sometime in the next few days. I wrote it on paper. I just need to type it in and set it to publish. It was an emotional post, but one that I needed to write.