Are You Living The Life You Want?

Do you wake up each morning with purpose? Or do you stumble out of bed unsure of how the day will proceed on its own? Are you allowing life to pass on by with no intervention on your part?

We only get a few short years on this planet. Even a fairly long life of 80 or more years is short in the grand scheme of things. But, it’s what we choose to do with those years that makes all the difference.

Do You Choose Your Life or Follow It?

Some people already know what they want out of life before they graduate high school. These are usually self-motivated people who meticulously plan their life and how to achieve their goals, then proceed to do just that.

Others still have no clue what they want out of life yet at the age of 40. Most of life has passed them by as they follow blindly along like a leaf in a river. Either they don’t set goals, or they do, but lack the motivation to achieve them.

The good news, if you are one of the latter, is that you can always change. At any point, you can take charge of the direction of your life. It just might be a little harder and require more work. And it is to you that I direct this post.

Answer These Questions To Help You

First of all, you need to decide you want to take charge of your life. If you are content riding along as a passenger of your life every day, don’t bother reading any further. You won’t be motivated enough to do what it takes. If you are ready, come on along.

The first thing you need to do is to decide what changes you want to make. Ask yourself a few questions and really think about your answers.

1. 1. 1. Where in my life am I unhappy? In what areas do I need to make changes?
      2. Why am I unhappy in each of these areas?
      3. What would make me happy?
      4. What can I do to achieve these things? (Keep in mind as you answer this that you cannot change other people. To achieve your goals you have to figure out how to do it by changing yourself)

These are some pretty hard questions to answer The first question alone requires serious thought. It’s easy to say, “I’m not happy”. It’s harder to define all the ways you are unhappy,

Decide What Changes Are Necessary

After you have successfully answered those four questions, you will have a good idea of what you might need to do for a more satisfying life. The next step is to figure out how to start making the changes you listed for yourself.

Do not try to do them all at once. You will become overwhelmed and quit before you start. (Been there, done that, a few times over!)

I’m going to write up a quick example. Say I’m unhappy with how much I weigh and my goal is to lose weight in a healthy way. I’m also unhappy with my job. I feel overworked, underpaid, and inadequately challenged. My goal is to find work better suited to me.

I’m also feeling lost in my relationship at home. I feel like I’m being taken for granted. And I don’t have many friends in my social circle so I often feel lonely. My goals are to improve my relationship at home and to find more friends.

Choose Just A Couple To Begin With

Now, that’s an awful lot of changing to attempt all at the same time. If I were to try to put all that into action I would fail in the first week or two. There are just too many steps to try to add at once.

So, we start with one or two that we might work on at the same time. In this hypothetical scenario, I chose weight loss and the relationship at home. It should be possible to work on them both together.

First I decide what my weight goal will be. In order to stay motivated, I need a definite goal. I chose to lose 20 pounds in 4 months.

Then I decide how I will do it. I made a list of the following things: drink 64 oz. Of water daily, limit my calories to 1500 / day, and take a half-hour walk 5-7 times a week.

For the relationship goal, I chose to take more time to listen and pay attention to my husband and to better communicate to him what I feel. I chose to try to be a better spouse to help him be the spouse I desire.

It Takes Time And Effort

Now, none of these things will happen overnight. It will take daily work.

I had to take time every day to budget my calories. If I were going to have a big lunch, I would need to remember to keep breakfast small.

I asked my husband if he would start walking with me. This fulfilled both goals. I got the exercise to lose weight, and we enjoyed some time together.

When I felt he wasn’t being fair to me, or that he was taking me for granted, I stopped for a minute to weigh my words. Then I told him tactfully how he was making me feel.

This is all a hypothetical example, but it is how I would go about making changes in my life. I would break it down into little steps that I could do each day.

Maintaining The Motivation

Starting is the easy part. We always feel motivated and energized on Day 1. But, how do you keep that energy strong on Day 15, Day 35, or Day 100?

To begin, you have to want it badly enough. If you don’t crave it with all that you are, you’ll find yourself quickly losing steam. You’ll decide the prize isn’t worth the pain.

You have to be able to envision life after your goals are accomplished. Is there a smaller outfit you can work towards fitting into? Hang it up where you can see it every day.

Reward yourself for small accomplishments. Enjoy a free (no counted calories) bowl of ice cream after you have lost 10 pounds.

If you can’t hold yourself accountable, choose a trusted friend to help you. Ask him or her to evaluate your progress weekly.

Don’t despair if you have a bad day or a bad week. All is not lost. Jump right back into the game as if you never stumbled.

Make a big deal when you do achieve the desired goal. If it’s too personal to share, celebrate privately in your own way.

You can change your life at any time. But you must choose to take charge of it and be willing to do the work.

Are you living your best life? Are you living a life that brings you satisfaction and joy? If not, why not? Will you start today to create the life you want?