Comparisons

Throughout our life we find ourselves making comparisons between our lives and others. This is normal human behavior. We can use the comparison in a healthy way or a harmful one.

As a child, we usually have a few idols. In most cases, one or both of our parents are our first idols. And as we get older, we become starstruck by a celebrity and they become an idol.

When someone is an idol, we want to be just like them. We mimic the way they dress, the words they use, and even the things they believe. We compare our life to their life.

But we make comparisons with people we don’t even know too. You can see it all the time on social media in comments under public posts. Either people will admit feeling jealous of the poster, or they will make unkind remarks which scream out the jealousy they feel.

And, in the case of social media, most of what we see is deceptive to begin with! Filters usually make the perfect selfies look so perfect. Tricking with lighting and camera angles can change appearances as well. (Just ask all those guys who like to send inappropriate pictures to women in their direct messengers.)

Comparisons are the way we determine how well we fit into society. When we compare ourselves to others, we want to know where we belong in our world.

If you think about it, we have been taught by example to make comparisons with our peers. In all of our years in school, teachers and authority figures compare each of us to our classmates and other students.

I can already hear you saying, “that’s just competition.”. And, I do agree. That is healthy competition. Some comparisons are worthwhile. They help us strive to be better people.

The damaging comparisons are those that cause us to feel unworthy and hopeless. Often these occur when we compare our physical appearance against one or more other people.

Can you imagine how much money people could save if they stopped spending it on products to enhance appearance? I’m not talking about hygiene products, but things like makeup, hair color, and jewelry.

But, to be fair, we could all be shaved bald and standing naked and clean of all enhancements and still make comparisons. No two bodies are exactly alike. We might still hate our bodies compared to all the other bodies we see.

However, I’d be willing to bet if we looked harder for our blessings instead of our flaws we might be genuinely surprised at what we find. Even the person we think is flawless and beautiful has issues with body image and parts of themselves they are not happy with.

What if we stopped comparing ourselves to other people? What if the only comparisons we make are against who we were and who we wish to be?

Because, in the end, the only changes we can make are changes to ourselves. We have to live the person we become. Wouldn’t you rather be someone you love than someone you can never be pleased with?