I Confess…

I have something to confess. It’s no secret I’m an empath. It is obvious in this blog. But, what I confess is something many other empaths also deal with … addictions.
Emotions overwhelm us. Until an empath learns how to handle the gift, the emotions of other people can consume a soul. It can make one crazy. Maybe even crazy enough to run away from the insanity.
I am addicted to food, sugar especially. I am an emotional eater. I’m one of the lucky ones. There are other addictions which are much more harmful that I might have turned to.
I come from a family with alcoholism on both sides. Since it runs in the blood it would have been easy to go down that road without hesitation. Alcohol numbs the senses and emotions. Maybe I would have been able to ignore the craziness with alcohol.
Drugs are easy enough to attain if you know how to look. I had friends who could have pulled me into that life to run away. I’m grateful they never tempted me.
I was in my thirties when I realized that food is my biggest addiction. My mother called me right after we finished eating dinner. I was full. I was definitely not hungry.
But as soon as I hung up the phone (yes it was still a landline phone), I headed to the refrigerator. Dan asked me what I was doing. How in the world could I be hungry already?
Hunger was not the issue. I needed comfort. A phone call from my mother always set my nerves on edge. Calls from her always drained my energy. This energy drain prompted my trip to the refrigerator. I turned to food to fill the emptiness inside.
I paid attention to my eating habits and discovered that I made more trips to get food than I needed to. However, hunger wasn’t driving my eating. Emotions were.
I was eating when I felt stressed, or nervous, or worried, or upset, or empty. I turned to junk food most often. Potato chips were a major attraction for me. (Again I confess… they still are.)
They say half the battle is realizing there is a problem and I believe that is true. Now I pay more attention when I think I am hungry. Am I hungry? When did I last eat? Am I thirsty? Am I emotional?
If I’m not sure about my hunger being true, I start with a glass of water. Often I find I am needing water. Getting a drink satisfies that craving. If that doesn’t do it I find something I am not fond of eating, but not something I hate.
Hunger will make that appeal to me. But, if that won’t do, if nothing but junk food like ice cream or potato chips will fill the craving, then it’s a good possibility it’s an emotional emptiness.
Once you recognize that it is an emotional issue, it’s time to deal with it. If it is a stress you can work on and change, that must be the next step. If the stress is something outside of your control your only option is to change the way you think about it, the way you deal with it. Talking to a trusted friend or counselor may be helpful if this is the case.
Maybe you just need a break from whatever is going on in your life and it is a lot of little things built up into something big. I find the fix for this is to either get moving and do a little exercise, or switch over to something that totally relaxes me. For me that is painting and writing.
Addictions can be overcome with mindfulness and consistency. If one is willing to work at it diligently, and change the thought patterns that call up the addiction, there is a chance to give up the addiction.
I’m still working on it.