Judge Not The Poor For Being Poor

(I read a post on social media about poor people that prompted this post, but I’ve been wanting to write a post like this for quite some time.)  Many people judge those who are in financial straits without having a clue how hard they strive to get out of the hole they are in.  NONE of us should ever feel we have a right to judge the situations others are in.  We can never know the whole story.

Being poor sucks. Let’s just open with that line. I’ve wanted to do a post on this for a while, but I wasn’t sure how to do it. No matter what I say, there will be those telling me I’m full of crap and I don’t understand.

Perhaps I understand a lot more than anyone would believe. I grew up in a household that lived on a meager income. We never had brand-new clothes. Even our school clothes came from thrift stores and rummage sales. We were always reminded that we were “poor” kids.

As I peruse social media, I see so many people judging others based on the portion of their lives they see. We never see the whole picture of anyone’s life, even those we are close to.

But what gets me are those who say, “Well, if they gave up buying premium coffees, alcohol, and cigarettes, they would have money for necessities.” Sure, that makes sense. IF those people spent good money on those things.

However, in so many cases that I know of personally, these poor people have ALREADY gone without these things. They don’t stop at fast food restaurants (and come on… even people who have money can’t afford the high cost of fast food anymore!). They don’t drive through Starbucks for a morning coffee or grab a beer with the guys after work.

I’ve seen some of these people working two jobs while trying to raise children single-handedly. And now the judgmental people will say, “well, then they shouldn’t have had children.” Sometimes children aren’t planned, but once they are here, they are a responsibility.

Sure, I will gladly admit that there are people who simply don’t want to work. They want everything given to them and feel entitled to be taken care of by everyone else. This isn’t about these people.

This is about people who work hard, who put in their hours at work and save their money where they can. Single parents. A couple in a low-income area. Elderly or disabled.

I’ve heard so many judgmental people feel that they have a right to tell others what they are doing wrong: quit buying fast food, shop at discount grocery stores, sell your house and move to a cheaper neighborhood, buy a decent car, etc. Tell me you don’t understand being poor … !

Many people have already stripped their lives down to the bare necessities. While most women feel regular salon visits are a necessity, poor women either cut their own hair or let it grow long rather than spend $20 – $30 they don’t have.

Someone with $1000 to their name and poor credit can’t just run out and buy a $10,000 car. They have to hope the cheap car they find doesn’t have serious issues because all they can afford to spend on a car is $1000. They would love to be able to spend on something reliable. Who’s going to pay for it for them?

Move to a new cheaper neighborhood? Really, it’s just that easy, right? There’s a shortage of housing everywhere. This drives up the cost of rent and house payments. A poor family might be lucky to find an apartment to rent for $500 and they have to take it where it is. It’s better than living in their car.

“Well, if they would just try harder, spend less, and save more they could get on their feet.” So many times I’ve heard that said about people that I KNOW are giving it everything they have just to survive. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” isn’t always the case.

If we aren’t already one of these people, we are only a tragedy or disaster away from being one. One never knows what the future holds.

Instead of looking down on the poor, perhaps it’s time to ask what we can do to help them. There are so many little things we can do that could mean so much.

Going shopping? See if they want to ride with you and save them some gas money. Taking your child to the park? Maybe their child would like to go too. Got some extra toys or games that aren’t being used? Offer them to someone who might benefit from them instead of dropping them off at a resale store.

These are just a few examples of things we can do that won’t come out of our own pocketbook. However, if there is extra money to be donated to someone in need, there are other things you can do. Offer to buy school supplies for a friend who is struggling. Drop off a box of necessities like toilet tissue and paper towels. Throw in a few luxury items like scented bath bombs and a new towel set. Take them out for coffee or lunch.

But, don’t do any of these things if you are going to make them feel like they owe you. Or that it gives you a right to tell them how to live their lives. They get enough of that already.

Being poor sucks. But it’s even worse for someone when they are giving their best and being judged for it.