Choose Your Friends Wisely

Who are you? No, I don’t mean your name, your nationality, or your job description. I mean who are YOU? The real YOU? How many of us know our real selves? How many of us actually SHOW our real selves? Are you yourself or a mirror of your friends? Do you choose your friends based on how well you connect?
Often I have noticed personality changes in friends based upon which other people are around them. We change with the people we spend our time with. Just as children are discouraged from going anywhere with friends who their parents consider “bad influences”, so also are we, as adults, influenced by those we are around most of the time.
People like to belong. We have a desire to fit in with society as a whole. That still leaves a lot of people to choose from in most areas. Even in small towns the population is usually still large enough to allow for a good deal of selection.
Our immediate birth families are not chosen by us yet they can influence us the most in our lives. It seems that our emotional health is affected deeply by our early years, even as young as infancy. But as we get older we are allowed to choose who to spend our time with.
How do children in the early years of school choose their friends? Is there a reason two children become best friends from the start? I don’t have the answer to that myself, but it is an interesting thought. Do they feel some kind of kinship or do their personalities just seem to fit together well?
As we age and mature we start to pay more attention to status and popularity. Friendships change based upon “the cool kids”. Children can be unkind and selfish in these stages, dumping a long time friend for not being popular enough.
Most often popularity is based upon financial status of the families involved. The “rich” kids may not even be rich. Their parents may just be the more affluent in the neighborhood. Even the middle class seem rich to a homeless child.
High school can be the hardest time for a child. Hormones are kicking in. Emotions are all over the board. Minor skirmishes with friends are considered wars in their young worlds.
When we finally survive our school year we are thrown out into the big bad world. If we are lucky and have been true to our own good friends they are still with us as we grow and mature beyond our school years. If we have been cruel and pushed them away for peers of status, we are more likely to go into the world with no support system beyond our family.
Once more we are in a situation to pick new friends. New jobs or new schools, whichever way our future goes, will bring new people into our lives. The selection process begins anew. Do you select based upon status? Or do you find yourselves gravitating toward others who are similar to you in beliefs and personality?
Our friendships are very important for our lives. Friends are a wonderful support system when life gets us down and we are afraid we can’t go on any longer. Our true friends, the ones who really love us, will let us lean on them, and guide us until we can stand on our own again.
If we have chosen our friends based upon their status they are not as likely to be there for us in our moments of need. If we have friends who have connected with us on a more personal level, friends who love us for being who we really are, they are happy to be there to hold our hand and our heart and carry us through to the good times.
Contemplate your own life. If you were down and out and needed a hand how many friends would be willing to be there, to lift you up, carry you through the hard times and celebrate with the good times? How many of your friends are you willing to let lean on you until they are in a better place? How many will you talk through a bad period? Being a friend is important to having a friend. Are you there for your friends too?
I would do anything for my best friend. We are connected at a soul level and always willing to support each other through the bad times as well as the good.
Choose your friends wisely.