Patience is Not MY Virtue

“Hold your horses!” “Just have patience!” So often in my life I have heard those phrases thrown at me. Most of the time I’m in a hurry when I hear them. Then again that seems to be the story of my life.

Patience is NOT a virtue of which I can boast. Almost anyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t have any idea what that word means. I would be lying to say they don’t have reason to feel as they do. I’m not a patient person by any means.

It’s what I need to work on. I recognized the problem quite some time ago actually. I promised myself I would work on it. Consciously I whisper little reminders when I feel annoyed at having to wait for someone who I think could be a little quicker at what they are doing. “Just be patient, Shell” I whisper under my breath. “They are doing the best they know how.” I say it even if I don’t really believe it.

So how do you LEARN patience? I’m not sure I have an answer for that. I wish I knew. Seriously I would love to find the magic wand that can be waved over my head and the magic words that would instantly turn me into the most patient person on this planet. “Hocus Pocus! Abracadabra!” or anything else that would install the virtue of patience inside this crazy body of mine would be wonderful.

Unfortunately, I don’t know of any magic wands or magic words. As far as I know, the only way to achieve patience is to practice patience. One must learn by actually doing. Taking the time to “stop and smell the roses” is the only way to get into the habit of being patient.

Being in the moment and fully aware of your thoughts every single minute is essential to learning to wait. For me being patient is as excruciatingly painful as watching paint dry on a fence in the rain.

But I have discovered a hobby which has been helpful for me in learning to be patient. Within the last couple years I have realized I have an inherent talent for art. I haven’t taken an art class since grade school 30 years ago, but I’m learning on my own. I started with pencils and then moved up to painting. And it is in painting that I am learning patience.

Watercolor painting is a double lesson for me. Part of the lesson is to learn to let go of control. No matter how much you want to, it seems the water has a mind of its own. You can try to guide it where you want it to go, but I’m learning that I need to let the water show me what it wants to do. I need to let go of control.

And I need PATIENCE! With watercolor it’s often necessary to do the painting in steps. One step needs to be completely dry before the next step of the painting can be done. If you attempt to apply new color too early it will blend with the previous color or the color nearest to it and the lines and boundaries will be blurred.

So as much as I would LOVE to be able to sit down and finish a painting in a day, that often is not possible. I have to let the inital colors dry completely before applying the next set of colors. Even then sometimes it can be tricky. One thing I have learned though… if you DON’T give it time to set and dry you are almost guaranteed to ruin the painting with colors running and blending in ways you never intended. In an abstract painting this may not be as troublesome as it is in a realistic painting.

When I need to practice patience, when I just know I need a refresher course in waiting, I begin to paint with watercolor. The first painting usually needs to be thrown away and considered just a practice piece because impatience took over too soon. And that is part of the process in learning patience.

I have to remind myself that hurrying seldom achieved anything for anyone. In fact, it usually created more problems to deal with because hurrying causes everything to fall apart quite often. Cutting corners to speed things up increases risks for injuries or failure. Sometimes patience is all you can have.

I’m going through a lot of changes in my attitude this year. Learning to be patient is a conscious decision I have made. I hope to become a better person who is easier to get along with. It’s hard but I have been reminding myself to be patient in moments when I want to lose my temper out of frustration.

I’m getting older. Maturity is creeping up on me I guess, but I don’t see the need to speed. There’s nothing to gain by hurrying up except a couple extra minutes you can’t do much with anyway. If you don’t do it right by speeding through you actually run the risk of losing time if something goes wrong or falls apart.

I am learning it is worth being patient in all things. Step back and smell the roses once in a while. Pushing yourself and others to the brink of insanity doesn’t solve anything and in some cases does cause injury. So what if something takes a few extra minutes. At least if it is done you can’t lose time by being made to go back and do it right the second time.

I am consciously trying to practice patience in all things. There are still many moments when I lose my cool and get frustrated. They are becoming fewer and further between. Hopefully practice makes perfect.

I would definitely appreciate any comments and helpful advice about learning how to be patient in all things.