REFLECTIONS

This week I had the opportunity to meet with a friend who has been going through a really rough time in her young life. She is under 30, has an eating disorder, has suffered through being molested by a trusted adult at a young age, and has serious health conditions. Nobody that young should ever have to go through all that she has already.

She told me a story about a friend. Her friend suffers from the same eating disorder she has. Her friend is in the hospital because of it. When the nurse wasn’t looking her friend pulled out diet pills hidden in her purse.

This was a wake-up moment for my friend. She was literally watching a friend dying from the same disease she deals with. And fear of death wasn’t even strong enough to prevent her friend from reaching for the diet pills. This disease is one that some would judge her for and say, it’s all in your choices. You can fix it if you want to.

To a point people would be correct. Diseases such as eating orders and addictions are based on choices we make. But let’s not fool ourselves. These are, in fact, diseases. People who suffer from them usually have had mental and emotional trauma in their past which have caused these diseases to develop. They are no different from heart disease or cirrhosis, which are the result of bad choices in diet and exercise.

All of these diseases, mental or physical, affect our lives in a large way. The physical illnesses may be more visible and more recognized, but the mental ones are probably more dangerous for just that reason. They can be hidden. Those who suffer can find ways to avoid others finding out and offering to help them.

Her story touched my heart in a strong way. I have an eating disorder too, but not one that has an official name. Emotional upset causes me to eat.  I am an emotional eater. I eat when I’m upset. When I’m angry, I eat. If I’ve been hurt, I eat. The refrigerator and pantry are among my best friends.

Recognizing it is only the beginning of the battle. Admitting I have a problem with food is only part of the solution. The hardest part is actually doing something about the eating.

Eating disorders are sneaky because you can’t just cut food out of your life. You need the nutrition it offers to keep your body moving, active and healthy. It takes constant awareness of WHY you are eating when you are eating. Asking yourself, was I really hungry? Did I really need food or am I upset about something?

As an empath I think it’s even harder for me, because there are times when the emotions I’m dealing with are not even mine. I may be feeling someone else’s upset. A close friend may be angry and I’m picking up on that. I run to the refrigerator to see how I can comfort this emotion.

I would like to say there is an easy solution, but as of yet I haven’t figured it out. It takes constant vigilance. It takes awareness of every single moment. Recognizing emotions is the first step. Dealing with them in a healthy manner is the next. I’m working on that.

In a way this is a lesson on judgment again. We can look at a skinny woman and wish to be like her — until we find out what she goes through to keep that pencil thin body. Suddenly we may find ourselves accepting of the extra pounds on our own body, although there may be a whispered resolution to go to the gym a little more.

And as for my friend … she’s got a support system. She’s working on trying to overcome her addiction as well. I’m so proud of her.