Reason, Season or Lifetime?

There’s a saying I’ve seen multiple times on social media which states that people come into our lives for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime and it is our responsibility to determine which one they are.

Those who are here for a reason come into our lives when we need help of some kind. It may be a physical need, or it may be something more subtle such as mental or spiritual. These people are like guardian angels. They show up when we have a need but just as quickly disappear from our lives when they have helped us as they were intended.

Those who come for a season stay a little longer, but they also have a particular role to play in our lives. These people come into our lives to teach us lessons. They may be a friend, a lover, or maybe even someone we would rather not be around at all. Once we have learned the lesson they were sent to teach us, their part in our lives is over and they will leave or we will send them away. These people touch our lives in a lasting way, but their presence in our lives is no longer required.

Then there are those who will be with us the rest of our lives. From the moment we meet them, these people are different. They love us unconditionally. They accept us for who we are without trying to change us. On good days they stand beside us.  Through our bad days they support us. They won’t condemn us even if we do something stupid or get into serious trouble. They support our dreams and desires even if they don’t agree with them.

Many times we confuse one for another. We want temporary people to be permanent people. We can’t understand why it’s over. When they leave or the relationship turns sour our hearts are broken. The problem is that we put them into a category they didn’t belong in. The fault was our own, not theirs. They may have needed us for a reason and then moved on.

I’ve done this myself. I saw a permanent future in people who are no longer a part of my life. Letting some of them go was hard. I didn’t understand at the time why they had to exit my life. Looking back now, I am grateful for the separation. I can understand now why I had to let them go. They would have slowed or hindered my progress in my own life and destiny. They held me back.

I see this often today in people especially when they are in a relationship. They look at each person as permanent in their lives. They try to hold on desperately to something that is not intended to stay forever. It’s easy to make excuses why it’s perfect, why he’s perfect, why she’s perfect. They close their eyes to the reasons why it’s time to move on and maybe find someone who is even better.

It’s never easy to let people go from our lives. We get attached. We love them. They are connections we want to hold onto. It’s even harder if we are in a relationship with them. But sometimes, as much as it hurts, and as hard as it can be, there are reasons both need to move on. Once you get past the initial bumps in the road the reasons for moving on become more obvious. The rose petals in our eyes turn to scales and we are happy to remove them.

The key is acceptance and patience. Accept that at this moment it’s better to be apart. And be patient enough to get through the initial pain of separation. There may be some scars left over. Time may not be the great healer everyone gives it credit for. But time WILL help you to see the reason for moving on and give you the strength to accept that it was the right decision.

Take the time to analyze the people you spend time with. Are they here for a reason, a season or a lifetime? What are we learning from them? Do they support us in our dreams and goals? Can they love us without changing us? Be honest with yourself. Don’t be afraid to let someone go who isn’t working toward the same goals.

Life is too short to be someone else’s dream and forget our own.