Is Your “Friend” Killing You?

How often lately have you heard the phrase “toxic person”? This doesn’t refer to someone who poisons your food and makes you ill. (Although such a person certainly would be toxic as well!) Toxic people are poisonous to our souls and spirits. If someone around you is poisoning you, would you be aware of it?  Would you recognize it in a friend?

Empaths sense particular energies of people, places and things. Each person carries their own energy signature. You might think of it as our own particular name. It is as distinctive as fingerprints and voices. Our physical senses can’t perceive these energy signatures. Our souls can see them quite plainly.

Have you ever met someone and just instantly didn’t like them? If you were asked why you had such an immediate dislike to him or her, you would be at a loss for words to answer the question. It’s not something you can put your finger on, like a bad hairstyle or a nasal attribute to the voice. It would be so much easier if we could answer in such a manner. We are repelled by their energy.

The simplest of understandings would be to picture two magnets of the same polarity. If you try to put them together, they repel instantly. They hate each other. There is no reason why. It is just how they are meant to be and what they are. It is the same when we meet someone with a distinctive energy signature that doesn’t agree with our own.

One of the most commonly heard terms dealing with toxic people these days is narcissist. It is the new buzzword. Or is it? It really does seem that the number of narcissistic people is exploding lately.

Empaths repel narcissists. They are the archenemy. They are the poison to our souls. Also called energy vampires, they bleed our souls dry of compassion and caring. They use us up until we have nothing left to give or are even able to take care of ourselves.  Empaths can usually sense this energy from them immediately.

Obviously the best course of action in dealing with a narcissist is to avoid them completely. Extract yourself from their life and pull their blood sucking tentacle out of your soul. There is nothing you can do to help a narcissistic person. Their tunnel vision does not allow them to see any other person. In their world nobody else exists except to serve them and be used. Instead of hating them, we should feel sorry for them. They are truly to be pitied.

What if you can’t avoid the narcissist? Perhaps it is a coworker or close family member and it would be complicated to keep them out of your life. In this case, you have no option but to learn how to deal with these people. May God give you the strength, because you will need it!  Sometimes they are people we originally call friend, only to find out they are not a friend at all.

The best and easiest, and maybe only, answer to any toxic person is to set clear boundaries. Know the limits of what you will endure and do not allow them to cross those limits. If they are allowed to do so, they will drain your energy and leave you feeling inferior.

Learn to recognize their actions which are no good for you. Create new boundaries around these actions. If they like to complain about their life situation but refuse to change it, limit the time you allow them to talk about these situations. Remind them they are the controllers of their life and if they really want change, they can’t wait for a hero, but rather it’s up to them to make the changes happen. This is your boundary – you will allow 5 minutes of complaining and then you will put up the door and not allow them to continue.

Limit your time around these people if at all possible. While it may be impossible to cut them out of your life, it might be possible to keep them at a distance. Instead of carrying on a face-to-face conversation, maybe tell them how busy you are, but they are welcome to drop an email and you will read it at your convenience. Even if they don’t grow tired of emailing you, the very act of typing out their grievance takes some of the energy away from their perceived complaint. They will be healing themselves. You can determine for yourself how to deal with the emails. Read them, scan them for new information or delete without ever reading them. They will never know the difference.

Have an escape route if the energy becomes too heavy. As a last resort, escape to the bathroom and try some deep breathing to clear their energy from you. If all else fails, rudeness may be necessary to get away. Often they set their hooks tightly and try to prevent escape. You are their feed to make them feel better. The more attention you give them, the better they feel and the worse you feel.

Toxic people are everywhere. We will run into them in all facets of our life, but it is up to us how we react to them. If we can avoid giving them attention and feeding their drama, sometimes they will leave us and move on to an easier victim. How do you deal with the toxic people in your life?