Goodbye 2017 Thanks For The Memories …

The year is ending. This time of year always seems to carry a sense of sadness with it. People don’t like endings. Memories of the last year come flooding back with all the original emotions of the events.

The end of the year is a time for reflecting on the people we lost over the last twelve months. It’s a time to mourn the resolutions we made with great intentions and then lost along the wayside of life. We take this time to look back at all the things we should have done and never did.

The end of December is also when we can take stock of all the good and positive things that have happened to us in the last twelve months. Perhaps we did make some changes in our lives that have made things better. It’s the time of year to be proud of ourselves for those changes.

Here at the end of 2017 it’s time for me to take stock of the last twelve months of my life. It has definitely been a year of transition and change for me. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be a different person at the end of 2017 I would have laughed right in their face.

And yet here I am! I have taken great strides in personal development this year. I began a journey of self. It was a year of learning about who I am, who I have been and who I want to become.

Two major things helped bring about these changes in me. The first one is a healthy lifestyle program where I work. The community outreach nurse, Whitney, has been working with me hand in hand for a couple years. In the past we tried working on my weight and blood pressure issues with little change.

This year, at Whitney’s suggestion, we decided to put my physical health on the back burner and concentrate more on my mental health. The idea was that maybe in fixing the mental health we can get in a good place to begin working on the physical health.

I was already making personal journal posts in a closed Facebook group. In March I began this blog as well. So my goals for this year in that healthy lifestyle program was to post at least 2 posts a month dealing with and helping my mental health. It’s been a lifesaver!

The second thing I did was to decide to attend a “Healing Through Journaling” workshop that was being offered in a nearby town on a couple Saturdays around Easter. Little did I know that those first three workshops were going to change my life.

In the past I never went to those type of things. There were always excuses, reasons not to attend, although in my heart I really wanted to. This time, instead of wallowing in self-doubt I made up my mind I was going to go. I also encouraged a sister and her daughters to attend with me.

I have been regularly attending these workshops since then. For about 8 months now I have been going a couple Saturdays a month. The change has been noticeable. Eva, the woman who runs the workshops, is a survivor herself and has her own blog which you can read here: https://chewedupandspatout.blogspot.com/

Through these workshops I learned how to write letters to people for healing. I wrote letters to people who have wronged me or hurt me. I wrote letters to people who I love but who I don’t understand. The letters are never mailed, but they serve to release a lot of emotion sitting within me, stewing and boiling and simmering like an angry pot of hurt.

The workshops taught me how to communicate with my inner child. Little Mechelle has a lot to tell me if I give her a chance to speak. She’s been kept quiet way too long. This year I’ve learned how to give her a voice.

I’ve learned that I have some blocked memories. There are things in my past I don’t want to know about. I put them behind a brick wall. But it’s time for me to raze that wall, find those memories and kick them to the curb. They are a festering sore oozing poison into my psyche. They need to go.

This year, 2017, I’ve found a new strength within me. I’m starting to banish my self-doubt and believe in myself. There are creative gifts I’ve been given that I ignored and took for granted far too long. I’m learning how to nourish and feed those gifts and use them for healing too.

I’m sorry to see 2017 go because it has been such a healing, helpful year for me. But, as with all things, it must come to its natural end. In comes 2018. With the right attitude 2018 will be even better. I will be stronger, more fearless and healthier.
Goodbye 2017. Thanks for the memories …