Dear Me…

Last year I learned how to write letters for healing purposes. (Healing Letters)  I wrote them to people I felt had hurt me. I wrote them to my family members that I couldn’t understand. And I wrote letters to me too.

I think in time those letters need to be updated. The amount of time in between letters depends upon how much change has occurred in between the writing of those letters. It’s only been about 6 months but I think it’s time for me to write a new letter.

I need to acknowledge the changes that have taken place and honor the person I have become. It’s time to pat myself on the back and praise myself for the courage I am showing in actually attempting this journey.

At the beginning of last year, the beginning of this journey, I had no idea where this was going to take me. It was a road into darkness without any light to guide me. I was walking blindly into my past, stirring up subconscious monsters that had been hidden for many years. I was waking the dead and realizing they are undead.

For years I blocked and buried all the hurt and pain that came my way. Instead of facing it and dealing with it, I put it in a special closet and slammed the door shut, bolting it with a huge padlock so it couldn’t get out. But it rotted and turned to mush and leaked out the door anyway. Now I have a rotten mess in my psyche to clean out.

This is the journey. The purpose of this whole journey of healing is to find these pains, recognize the hurts, and deal with them head on. I need to face them individually, accept the pain I should have dealt with at the time, feel it, heal it and allow it to finally dissipate. Until then it is poisoning me, tainting my thoughts and influencing my decisions. I need to clean up that rotten mess.

Today I will sit down and write a new letter to myself. I am proud of how far I have come and it’s time to acknowledge that fact. I know there are still plenty of monsters to uncover, and fight and bury. But there are less now that I have battled some of them. With each fight another one dies. There is one less monster to try to influence me.

I am a strong, confident woman and it’s time to let me shine. It’s time to let the world see my strength and my confidence. I was given gifts and abilities to share with the world and it’s time I let the world see just how special I am. But first I have to believe it. So here goes…

“Dear me…”