Whose Tears Are These?

  (Photo credit:  Jeremy Kruchten)

Imagine a beautiful sunny summer day. The temperature is warm and comfortable. You’re driving with the window down singing lustily along with the cheery song on the radio on the way to pick up a few groceries for the house.
In your minds eye, picture a line of cars with their lights on coming in your direction. You realize it’s a funeral procession. Nobody you know has died recently, so you know it’s a random stranger to you.
As they grow near a black cloud begins to form around your temperament. As the hearse passes next to you tears well up in your eyes and you find yourself crying for the loss of this life. You are crying for the loss of someone you don’t know and most likely have never met.
This scenario actually took place in my life about a year before I learned what an empath is. I was overcome with grief and sorrow for about five minutes. There was no question in my mind where the emotions originated. What I didn’t understand is WHY? Why was I mournning a stranger’s death? Why had it come over me so quickly? How could my own jolly happy mood suddenly be replaced by grief and pain I had no reason to feel?
Welcome to a normal experience in the life of an empath. I tend to think of it like being a radio. We pick up emotional radio stations of other people (or animals in the event of an animal empath).
In retrospect I surmise that the dead person had been loved very much by the mourners in the procession. The energy of their sorrow was like a big black cloud encompassing the procession as it travelled own the road. As I passed by them I passed through that “grief cloud” and my internal “radio” tuned to their strong emotions, overpowering my own emotions.
In this case I was back in my own emotions after a few minutes. That isn’t always the case for me. Sometimes it’s confusing to sort out your own emotions from those you have tuned into from other people. For an empath it is crucial to distinguish what belongs and what doesn’t.
There are websites and books for empaths to explain how to tell the difference, but the biggest key is to know yourself. If there’s no reason in your life for the emotion you are experiencing it’s probably not yours.
Know yourself. Know your own body. Your reactions. Stay present in the moment. Stay aware of your feelings and the reason for them.
If you suspect you are tuned into somebody nearby, step away from them for a while. Excuse yourself and leave the room. Take notice if the emotions persist when you are not in their presence anymore.
This isn’t foolproof. It has been my experience that I have picked up on the emotions of people who are far away yet very close to my heart. I have learned to reach out to these people and check in on them. Sometimes you will find you have a particular person on your mind a lot suddenly. Check in with that one first. I ask them if they are OK and how things are going and if they need to talk or need a hug. Once I identify the source of the emotion it dissipates from me. Another benefit is that my friends appreciate the check-in to show they are loved.
The life of an empath is confusing at best. Learn to know yourself. Then you will know to ask, “whose tears are these?”