Exorcise That Critic Within

Are there little voices speaking to you within yourself? Do you listen to the inner voices? Have you given them names? Is one helpful and one a critic?

I like to think there are two voices within me. One of them is my intuition and the voice I must pay attention to. The other voice is my inner critic. He is the one I need to talk back to and ignore. If you need a visual, think of them as the devil and the angel on your shoulder.

While reading a book about raising self-esteem I learned of the concept of the inner critic. That inner voice of negativity really struck home with me as I read about him. In fact, I identified so well with him, that I named mine using the name of a man who caused me a lot of irritation in my life. In doing so, it made it much easier to talk back to him.

If you listen to that inner critic, and pay attention to what he says, you will never accomplish anything. He is a professional at telling you not to try something new or that you just aren’t good enough for something you are aiming at. The critic will say you are too much of something, just as other people may say if they are being critical of you.

I’ve had one person tell me it’s hard to talk back to the critic because it’s like talking back to yourself. The key is to externalize the critic. Make him a separate entitity in your mind. I described it as like a type of possession. This negative entity lives within you, but it is within your power to exorcise it.

Some people need visuals and physical objects to help them. This can be accomplished with what I call “reminder jewelry”. These are rings, necklaces or bracelets intended to serve as reminders for something. As crazy as it sounds, I wore a “potato chip ring” to remind me I DIDN’T need to eat that bag of potato chips I was craving. The rings can be used as any kind of a reminder.

If calling yourself “fat” is a frequent negative thought, wear the ring as a “fat ring” or call it whatever works for you. But whenever you get that negative thought that you are too fat, rub the ring (or twist it on your finger as I did).  Tell yourself that you are not too fat for anything. You may have extra weight but you are working to get it off. Your weight is not a hindrance to anything you choose to accomplish.

Whatever wording you use must be something you honestly believe. The ring or other jewelry will just help to keep it in the forefront of your mind. Since each of us is different, the words I use to talk back to my critic may not work for anyone else. In my case when my critic tells me I’m fat, I tell him I may be fat but I’m working on it. And the fat isn’t going to stop me from accomplishing whatever I want to do.

Don’t expect progress in a day or even a week. It takes a while for any new habit to help. It takes constant work and repetition. Getting back up when you fall is a must. I did finally eat that bag of potato chips I was avoiding. When I did they were almost crumbs from me carrying them around in my work bag. But I had been carrying them around a month before I ate them out of hunger instead of needing an emotional fix. For a month the ring kept me from eating them simply because I was feeling down and needed a pick-me-up.

For me, one of the first steps in getting my self-esteem up to a better level was learning how to recognize the critic and talk back to him. It took patience and practice. And in learning to talk back to him, I also learned how to respond back to critical people in my life.

What will you say to your critic?