When She Became Free…

Today’s post is not what I had first intended. Weekend events had prompted me to type up a different post for today but being the emotional person I am, instead I am going to open the door to another blogger with a stronger topic: becoming free.

If you are a long term follower of this blog you will have heard me speak of Eva, the woman who has helped me use my writing to heal. She is a survivor of multiples types of abuse. She has used her experiences to help others in similar positions. A warm, caring person with the spirit of a warrior, she knows when it’s time for compassion and when to put her armor on.  Her personal tagline: When I Shared My Story is When I Became Free

Eva has a personal project to bring awareness to domestic abuse as well as to help victims turn into survivors. She is currently interviewing survivors for an upcoming book. It’s hard for survivors to tell their tale. There is still a lot of stigma surrounding abuse. Often the victims are victimized again when they are neither heard nor believed. Those they turn to for help, the ones who are supposed to be “the saviors”, may turn a blind eye simply because they are not trained well enough in the dynamics of domestic abuse.

I first met Eva last year when she put out ads for a workshop called “Healing Through Journaling”. At first I debated going, but quickly decided I needed to at least see what it was about. I was already a writer. What could it hurt? Nervously, I entered the room with my notebook and pens, always a staple of mine, and sat down. The two hours went by quickly and I was hooked.

She worked with me on an individual basis, as she has done with most of the women who have heard her call. Because of my work with her I have been able to open the door to conversation with my mother again. She has helped me heal from some of the hurt and trauma of my childhood. I learned of her blog while she was working with me and I became a follower.

She spoke of the project she was working on, to help survivors own their own stories and speak of their past. Eva wanted to give them a voice, both to help in their healing and to encourage others to escape the prison in which they lived. My own best friend was one of the survivors she has spoken with. Another of the survivors is a woman I recently reconnected with after many years. When I knew her, she was leaving a second abusive husband.

Over the years domestic abuse has been a touchy subject with me. I’ve known too many people who were victims in one way or another. People tend to think of abuse as simply being physically beaten. While that certainly is abuse, it isn’t the only kind of abuse. Perhaps the worst kind of abuse is emotional abuse because it places scars where they can’t be seen and are harder to heal. I will have a post in the future with more information on emotinal abuse.

When I met Eva, I knew in my heart she was brought into my life for a reason, and I told her as much. I was entering a period of great change in my own life, and she was sent to help guide me through the craziness that was headed my way. My health had become a major issue and I knew changes were inevitable. One way or the other my life would change. The question was whether I would steer myself or be dragged with the current.

Time has passed since we met. I have had some eye-opening moments with her. She is guiding me as I begin to unlock some memories I have blocked from my early childhood. They are starting to bring me flashbacks. I can hope that with time they will come open so I can deal with them in a healthy manner.

And she has renewed in me a belief I have always felt about myself – I was put here to change the world in some way. My path has always guided me toward helping others, especially the underdog, the down-trodden and those in need of emotional help. With Eva’s help, I am learning how to do it in a healthy manner, instead of giving all my energy to others, saving none for myself.

I look forward to reading her book, not only because I know some of the survivors personally, but also because these survivors are so inspiring. While nobody could fault them for hating the world for the life they have been forced to live, they moved on to a better life, and a desire to help others. Instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they became the strength for others who needed it.

I would like to encourage all of my readers to check out the posts I have listed below that she has recently published regarding the survivors she has already spoken with. There are more on her list to interview. Please, follow her blog and share it. Get the word out. Survivors need to know they aren’t alone.

I also encourage every one of you, even if you don’t know of anyone suffering domestic abuse right now, to do a little investigation into the current help available in your area for abuse victims. I, personally, was not aware of how little help there is for victims until recently. It made it easier for me to understand why they stay, and why they go back. If you don’t keep the numbers handy, at least memorize the name of the local shelter. You never know when you might be called on to help. If you ever are, I pray you jump at the chance. You could be saving a life.

If someone, woman or child, comes to you for help, believe them. Ask them for more information. Take them seriously. If they later claim that they lied, DON’T BELIEVE THEM! They were likely threatened into claiming it’s a lie by the very person they wanted to be free from.

I know of a circumstance near my home town where the father was sexually abusing the daughter, and then the step daughter. When the daughter brought it forward, her father forced her to claim it was a lie that she made up because she was mad at him. When the stepdaughter came forward she couldn’t be scared into lying. And it was then he was finally locked up. Only after he went to prison did the daughter admit she had been forced to claim it was a lie.

The current system is definitely messed up. It needs change. I hope I can be part of that change. Somehow, in some way, I want to be instrumental in bringing awareness to this topic. I want to be the strength of other women who need support. None of us can change the world singlehandedly. But together we can make a difference.

If you read this and are currently in an unhealthy situation, PLEASE CALL FOR HELP 1-800-799-7233. If you have internet access you can start here: http://www.thehotline.org/

Eva’s Survivor stories:

https://chewedupandspatout.blogspot.com/2018/07/she-survived-domestic-violence-and.html

https://chewedupandspatout.blogspot.com/2018/07/attempted-murdersuicide-rob-tells-his.html

https://chewedupandspatout.blogspot.com/2018/07/savannahs-journey-whenibecamefree.html

https://chewedupandspatout.blogspot.com/2018/08/truths-whenibecamefree.html

https://chewedupandspatout.blogspot.com/2018/08/hidden-family-secrets-exposed.html

The home page for the blog: https://chewedupandspatout.blogspot.com/