Normal Isn’t Always Right

One of the things I have noticed as I grow older is my ever-increasing resistance to change. In my 48 years on this earth, there are routines I have developed. I have preferences for certain things and a very noticeable dislike for others. Of course, I am not alone in this.

As humans, we are all different. This is a good thing, for sure. What a boring world it would be if everybody was the same. As the old saying goes, “Variety is the spice of life.” How true that is!

Diversity and individuality is a problem for some to deal with, however. Narrow-minded folks see the world one way and believe theirs is the only ‘normal’. Everyone who lives differently must be wrong, of course. How perfect is the example of the toilet paper roll debate – paper over or paper under? There is no “right” answer although persons on both sides of the debate will insist theirs is the “only” way and give you the reason they believe it to be true.

When I was a young girl I thought I was headed to hell for not preferring to watch movies with John Wayne in them. My parents loved the old Westerns and my mother made me feel that I was wrong for not wanting to watch them with her. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to watch a movie with her. I didn’t care to watch the action movies that he made. But, she gave me guilt trips for not wanting to watch them. I felt there was something wrong with me.

Having lived through that experience I find myself second-guessing my own treatment of others whose opinions and preferences differ from my own. I remind myself that we ARE all human and different and allowed to be individuals. Just because someone else chooses to live differently than I do doesn’t make them wrong or me right. It just means they live a different life in the style of their own choosing.

Throughout my life, from childhood through school and far into adulthood I have been judged by others who realized that I am more likely not to follow what is considered “normal”. I will always stand out for being different. By no means will I ever consider it an insult.

Does being “normal” mean you are right? Who determines what is normal? Normal is a relative term. If you want to define it as “doing what the majority of people do” then we could make crime “normal”. If crime runs rampant, and this is considered normal, does it mean that crime is the right way to do things?

The word “normal” is too vague. It’s a false standard to hold yourself up to. There are so many variables to being normal. What is normal on the east coast of the United States is quite different from what is normal on the west coast. If everyone in California dyes their hair purple does that mean everyone in New York is wrong if they don’t?

I guess this is a long way around of saying that we need to accept people for who they are, normal or not. And instead of judging them for the way they do things, allow them to live in the manner in which they are comfortable even if it isn’t the way you prefer to live. In the end, we only have control over ourselves, our own beliefs and actions and reactions. Wouldn’t our energy be better spent in loving each other for being individuals instead of judging them for being different?

Love your neighbor as he is. Accept him, flaws and talents both. If you don’t like the dirt on his step, offer to sweep it for him. If he refuses, accept that he just likes the dirt on his step. And love him for being different and not ashamed to be who he is. Each of us has gifts and faults. It makes us human.

God bless the innocent people who have never learned how to pass judgment upon others, and who accept every human as another one just like them.