Unfriended!

Twenty years ago nobody would have a clue what the word “unfriended” meant. Social media had not yet become the bulk of our lives. Our friends were the people we grew up with or the neighbors next door.

However, in this new cruel, cold world, being unfriended often brings doubt about self-worth. Friends on our social profiles are numbers and signs of popularity. We didn’t need another way to compare ourselves to others. It was easy enough to feel unworthy already.

Therefore, if someone has low self-worth, it can be even more painful to be unfriended. While there may be perfectly valid reasons to click the unfriend button, the victim will overthink things and feel hurt. Furthermore, unfriending someone is a sneaky action. It can take weeks or months to discover the disconnection. But, one day you realize it’s been a while since you’ve seen someone’s posts. A visit to their profile shows you are not friends anymore.

But, if you have a close connection to all your contacts on social media, it can be a personal thing to be unfriended. Questions begin popping in your head. “What did I do?” “Did I say something wrong?” Self-blame fills your head for days. Self-worth falls even deeper down the black hole.

However, if you are bothered by being unfriended, it’s time to contemplate the many possible valid reasons for losing the connection. I can name a few of the reasons when I unfriended people. Periodically, I clean out my list of friends. There were some who were friends from a game I no longer played. I released people who never interacted with me or my posts. There were chronic complainers. I dropped a couple of fitness freaks who continuously showed pictures of their diet foods or their gym machines. I often looked at those pictures and ran for a bag of potato chips. Accept that the person had a valid reason to make the decision.

But, whatever the reason for the disconnect, there is only one choice. Release the person, cut ties and move on. We can’t force someone to be our friend, in real life or online. To attempt it would be social suicide. However, other people would be happy for our attention. Give your attention to those who deserve it.