On Being Judged

One of the hardest things many of us have dealt with is the feeling of being judged. Whether the judgment is justified or not, being in the hot seat is extremely uncomfortable. Our reactions differ upon finding ourselves judged by others.

Throughout my life, I have dealt with judgment. Of course, I don’t feel any it was justified. I am not a judgmental person. Because I have been judged many times in my past, I know how it feels to be found wanting or not good enough.

When You Feel Judged

So, what do you do when you feel judged? How do you react? Commonly people try to justify their actions. We want others to like and accept us. Their approval is necessary for our acceptance. Therefore, it is common to explain our actions or make excuses.

However, there are those who will not allow explanations. There is no chance for forgiveness. These people choose hate instead of love. Choosing hate creates enemies and hard feelings.

No Chance To Explain

Most people feel emotions strongly. Just as we love fiercely, so also do we hate as extremely. When that love becomes tarnished or tainted by judgment, there are some who will not allow it to be polished and cherished again. They prefer to hold hate.

But, the hate they feel is hurt. Rather than talk it over and forgive, some would prefer to hold onto the hurt. It’s a way to protect their heart. There is nothing we can do to sway these people.

Moving On

If there comes a time when others judge you, what are your options? What can you do to save the relationship?

First, ask yourself if the relationship is worth saving. If this person has judged you in the past, this may be a recurring theme. Do you want this in your life?

Secondly, if the relationship is worth saving to you, will the other person offer a chance for explanations? If not, there is nothing more you can do. Forgive them for judging you and move on.

Lastly, offer to discuss the problem and find common ground. Ask that you both enter the discussion with an open mind and a willingness to understand. Any good relationship will find a way to talk through these issues and work out any differences. If this isn’t possible, your only option is to walk away and wish them well in life.

And, maybe, ask yourself, “Have I judged another without offering hope?” If yes, it might be time to rectify that.