Who’s In Your Mirror?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Are you happy with the reflection that appears? Or do you see only flaws and imperfections?

If you are only seeing negatives, it’s time for some deep conversation with your inner self. None of us are completely imperfect, just as nobody can claim perfection. What we see in the mirror is tainted with our own insecurities and fears.

The world we live in seems to place a lot of worth on appearance these days. There is a lot of focus on a flat stomach, smooth skin, full lips, bountiful breasts, and a luscious booty for women. And for men, the pressure is on for the 6-pack abs and the muscles of steel, among other “sexy” characteristics.

When a man steps in front of a full-length mirror and does not see those desirable huge biceps to flex, he feels inferior and unable to measure up against his fellow men. It is no different for the woman who has that paunch in her midsection, or a size A bra. They feel flawed and incapable of being “good enough”.

In some cases, physical characteristics can be changed and modified. An obese woman can usually lose weight. A man can build his muscles with frequent visits to a gym. Some characteristics are just part of who we are, like our height and the length of our feet.

But what the mirror doesn’t show is the person inside the shell we see. And it’s that inner body that makes a world of difference.

Many years ago I had a discussion with my sister about a couple of people we knew who had lost a significant amount of weight. We both agreed that they looked much better. But, they had also changed. When they were “fat”, they were happier. They laughed more.

The skinnier versions of these people were uptight and more haughty. They were quicker to judge others and look down on them. I remember mentioning to my sister that I couldn’t see the correlation between weight loss and personality changes.

That all took place quite a few years ago when I was still young. Over time I’ve seen more of these weight transformations take place. I’ve seen the same behavior in some, but not all, of those who have lost significant weight. I still wonder if there is a connection.

Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe inside they were that way all the time, but with a new, more confident body, they are more comfortable expressing their disdain for the rest of humanity. Or, maybe the confidence in the new looks creates the feeling of superiority over others who are less fortunate.

Weight loss is just one big change we can make to our physical bodies. There are others, and they can have a similar effect on our personality. I watched a woman become more confident and feel younger just by coloring her gray hair for the first time.

There is a connection between how we feel about our looks and how we act around other people. If we are insecure about our appearance we are likely to be more shy, withdrawn, and hold back our personality. We don’t want to impose our presence upon other, more worthy, people in this world.

But, if we like who we see in the mirror, we feel more comfortable expressing our opinion and being heard. Any woman having a “good hair day” will tell you it makes all the difference for her that day. Just as a “bad hair day” will ruin the entire day for her.

I would love to say that we can reach a point when we can love who we see in the mirror every day. Being human, I don’t think it’s possible. We will always have a bad day here or there. But, as long as the bad days are only once in a while we are doing good.

The key to loving the reflection in the mirror is learning to be comfortable in your own skin. We were created to be individuals, not identical twins of each other. Instead of hating your flaws, own them and make them a unique part of you.

Even the most perfectly put-together person is flawed. The flaw may not be visible to everyone, but there is something about each of us that we would change about ourselves to be our own version of “perfect”. Sometimes money can make those changes happen, but it often takes more than most of us have.

And, perfection can become an addiction in people who chose to make those changes. Instead of accepting the mirror image, they have nose jobs, boob jobs, and liposuction. And if the woman walking around looking like a Barbie doll was asked if she had anything about herself she didn’t like, her honest answer would be YES. There would still be things she would change.

The truth is that we are all uniquely built with our own special characteristics. We can blame the mirror for what we see and don’t like but the mirror only shows our physical body. The mirror doesn’t pass judgment. We do when we look into it.

The next time you look into a mirror, instead of counting your flaws, count your blessings. You have two good eyes you can see from, and ears to hear with.

Your nose, large or small as it may be, can smell smoke to alert you if there is danger. Or entice you to dinner with the knowledge of bread baking in the oven.

That little belly fat? It makes an awful nice pillow for a lover or a pet. Look lovingly upon those things that you used to despise.

Make it a point when you look in the mirror to compliment yourself on something you see. Don’t leave the mirror until you feel you have found enough things to make you feel worthy.

And don’t be afraid to compliment yourself on your unseen qualities as well. Give yourself a point if you always try to be nice to strangers. Add points for other nice things you do.

How long will it take before you like who’s in your mirror?