A recent breakup in my life made me realize that life is like a rope. Each different strand of the rope adds to the strength of the whole. Just as each area of our life makes it all complete.
This last week I had to close the door on a special friendship I never thought I would lose. However, he is fighting his own demons and it seems it’s too hard for him to consider how his behavior affects my feelings. So, I politely said “see ya” and walked away.
It’s strange how you can not think about someone much until they are no longer a part of your life. Then you can’t stop thinking about them. I saw hours on the clock and would think about what he would be doing at that time: waking up, getting off work, etc.
I recognized the same behaviors as I had done when I had to quit my job. Back then I looked at the clock and would think, “if I were working, this is what I would be doing.”
A revelation occurred to me. Quitting work for me had been like a breakup. It explained so much about my mental issues after I quit. I fell into a depression and felt disconnected from life.
My job had been like a lover. After I left, there was that same void inside of me. I was cutting out a big part of my world, just as you do when you lose a cherished friend or lover.
That’s when I saw that life is like a rope made with multiple strands. Each strand alone seems rather insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It’s just a little strand, right?
Yet, if one of the strands breaks free, pulls out, or just isn’t there, it threatens the stability of the whole. There is a loosening or even a visible hole where the strand was.
Are the other strands strong enough to compensate for the loss? Will another strand be inserted to replace the missing one?
Would my life fall to pieces without my job or my friend? It’s all in how I choose to face it mentally and emotionally.
I wasn’t strong enough when I quit work because of my health. My rope was looking pretty frayed and I felt like I was losing it. Therapy helped me weave together what I had and build a strong rope again.
I liked the feeling of strength. I kept working on building up my life. When I lost people I didn’t think I would, I was strong enough to close the door when they left, wish them well, send them on their way and keep growing. It didn’t slow me down or stop me.
From that experience, I learned that I can’t rely on anyone else to be there for me no matter what they say. It was empowering more than anything else. I learned to rely on myself.
Now, I don’t mean that I grew cold. I still love and cherish those who still stand by my side, flaws and all. (And as crazy as this may sound, I have more friends and supporters now than ever, despite being more choosy about who I let in.)
I put more time and effort into each strand of my life. I made time for what was important to me. The rope of my life became more full and strong.
And it’s why I knew it was time to let this friendship go. I couldn’t build it stronger and it would be a weak strand in my strong life.
As an empath, sometimes I find myself being a lifeline for others. I can’t save them from drowning with a frayed rope.
How frayed is your rope?