The Struggles of Online Behavior

How do you come across on social media? The popularity of social media use is overwhelming, partly because one can react behind the anonymity of a screen and keyboard. But your online behavior can still affect you.

My fight against scams takes me online a lot. I spend a good number of hours on Facebook, learning and teaching about scams. But that isn’t all I do on there. I am a member of a number of hobby groups based on things that hold my interest.

Anyone who has been on Facebook lately will notice that it is running rampant with people who like to create chaos and spread negativity. They will be contrary just for the sake of getting someone’s dander up.

With Facebook “suggesting” things we may like, I see a number of group posts for groups I am not in. Sometimes I see posts from the same groups, so Facebook must assume I like those groups (although, if I did, you would think I would actually JOIN them, right?) I see frequent posters in these groups and find myself wanting to block people I don’t even know or interact with.

Even in the groups I belong to, if someone is constantly being a “negative ninny”, I will block them so I don’t have to feel their negative attitude and allow it to ruin my day. But with Facebook showing me other groups, I find I am blocking people in those groups too.

Just this morning, there was a suggested group that I saw. Someone shared an informative, newsworthy video, and there was a “hater” who went out of her way to put down this poster. Looking at her other activities in the group, I saw that she was constantly spouting negative comments.  There was no reason for them other than it must have feel right to her.

And I blocked her. Since it was a group that was local to my state, if not my area, I didn’t want to see any of her activity that might show up in any other groups I might be in that she also belongs to.

I thought about this. In my local group, there is a woman who is continuously posting negative comments and posts, then wondering why people don’t respond to her posts when she asks for help. She comes across as unkind and inconsiderate of others. Who would want to put themselves in the way of that woman?

This should give us food for thought. We do what we can to protect ourselves from other people. Does our behavior cause others to protect themselves from us?

I’m not talking politics or controversial topics. Those will always be argumentative simply because we are human. But some people will find an argument where none exists, or stick their noses into something that is not of their business, just to be able to make a comment and be seen.

And therein lies the key to a lot of this behavior – “be seen”. People today are not being given the individual attention that they seek. So they have to find it themselves. Social media is the perfect place to find people, but it’s not the perfect place to get our attention needs met.

Would we behave the same way outside of the virtual world, where we can be anyone we want to be? Should we talk to real present people the way we speak to online ones?

Society has stopped caring about how behaviors affect others. Today’s attitude is simply, “I want to do it and so I shall”. There aren’t enough consequences for the bad behavior anymore.

Take time to pay attention to your attitude when you are online. Do you come across as being friendly, helpful, and kind? Or will others think you are negative?