Goodbye Baby Boy

People who do not have “furbabies” think we are crazy. They shake their head in wonderment when I speak to my “children” as if they are human. When I put a hand crocheted sweater on Cookie in the winter to take her for a ride they roll their eyes. When I talk to Bandit like he is a human boy, they don’t understand.

She’s not “just a dog” any more than Bandit was “just a dog” to me. Affectionally I call them Baby Girl and Baby Boy. The entire rear end wobbles to and fro with the happy tail as it wags.

But today I will go to bed crying. My Baby Boy met with an unfortunate accident this morning and I’ve lost him. I wasn’t home, but upon hearing the news I couldn’t even end the phone call. I dropped the phone and burst into uncontrollable sobs.

There’s nothing anyone could have done to prevent it. It was a sad and unfortunate accident. If I had been home I couldn’t have changed things. I can only assume for some reason it had to be.

But it hurts…

I was never able to have human children of my own. For a long time I refused to get attached to an animal because I was afraid of just this pain. Then there was Cookie. A twist of fate brought her to us. Last year we acquired Bandit. He won my heart without trying.

Bandit always greeted me with joyful barks and a tail that shook his entire body. My husband wasn’t jealous that he was a Mama’s boy. He jumped into my lap and smothered me with kisses every chance he got. He was solid and full and heavy as he grew and I cherished the love he gave me.

It hurts to have to say “Goodbye”. There is a void in the places he always filled, but the place he holds in my heart is full. He will always be my Baby Boy and he will remain in my memory forever.

I will always love you Baby Boy.