“I Just Don’t Understand …”

How many times do you read something in the paper and find yourself saying, “I can’t understand how …” or “Why would someone do such a thing?” As we read things like this in the paper we feel sick to our stomach. As an empath it can be even worse because we can actually feel what the victims felt.

Within the last week there was a local story about a couple who kept children locked in cages. The outcry was loud and horrific. Many questions and comments filled the minds of the general population. “What made them do such a thing?” “Why did they think it was an acceptable action?” “I don’t understand how any human being could do that to another, especially one in a vulnerable helpless position.”

That last comment is the most common: “I don’t understand how …” Most of us try to wrap our minds around these actions. We attempt to even find one reason to justify the horrific actions of another person. However, it’s quite likely that we will never be able to do so.

We should be grateful that we can’t understand. The fact that we are unable to understand the actions means that we never suffered whatever damage it was that caused the accused to perform such actions. They were products of their upbringing just as we are.

In this particular case, one of those people made the decision to put the children in a cage. We can’t begin to grasp a reason why this might have been done. Nothing within our past would allow it to believe it is acceptable behavior.

As an empath the story turned my stomach. Thinking of those children locked up, without love and proper care, potentially growing up not knowing what life should be brings hurt to my heart. I’m grateful for this pain because it shows that I recognize how wrong those actions are in a civil human society. It doesn’t help me understand any better. I never will.

However, in moments such as this I find myself feeling thankful that I didn’t have anything within my past that would allow me to justify that behavior. I know there are things that I do others cannot understand. Issues from my past have caused me to think in ways many people would find abnormal. I would hope they would consider that before condemning me for not behaving in a ‘normal’ manner.

I find the actions reprehensible myself. Children should be given the utmost care, love and attention. They are not second thoughts, pets or slaves. They are the future of our world. In no way could I ever justify treating a child in such a manner. But, I do find myself curious about the adults. I have questions like everyone else: Which of the adults decided to use the cages? What behavior of the children pushed them over the edge to take such measures? Why was the other adult consenting?

I am the kind of person who likes to understand people and their motivations. While I don’t agree with what was done, I am very curious why it was done. I don’t understand. While many people automatically hate what they don’t understand, I am not one of those. I cannot hate another human being.

Justice needs to be served and it should be now. But I also find myself hoping that all those involved in the situation ( and any and all others like it) find the help they need to move forward and recover from the past.